animalstalkinginallcaps:

THANK HEAVENS YOU’RE BACK. WE’RE SO BORED WE’RE ACTUALLY DYING FROM IT. 

I’M ACTUALLY FINE. I TOOK A GLORIOUS NAP.

COMCAST IS DOWN AGAIN. SURPRISE, SURPRISE. WE WERE GOING TO BURN THROUGH SOME DOWNTON ABBEY BUT INSTEAD WE LISTENED TO HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE REPUBLICAN PRIMARIES ON AN OLD-TIMEY AM/FM TRANSISTOR RADIO WE FOUND IN THE GUEST HOUSE.

I DIDN’T ACTUALLY LISTEN BECAUSE I WAS NAPPING.

WE TRIED TO DISCUSS THE CANDIDATES’ VIEWS ON IMMIGRATION WITH THE MAID, THE ENTIRE KITCHEN STAFF, THE GARDENER, AND THE ORGANIC PRODUCE DELIVERY GUY BUT NONE OF THEM SPEAK ENGLISH.

I SPEAK FLUENT CATALAN BUT THIS MEXICAN SPANISH, IF YOU CAN CALL IT THAT, IS JUST GARBLED NOISE TO ME. PLUS I WASN’T AWAKE.

NOT TO ALARM YOU, BUT IF ANY OF THOSE MEN GET ELECTED WE’RE GOING TO STARVE TO DEATH IN A VERY DIRTY HOUSE.

fuckyeahhistorycrushes:

This is the beautiful flying ace Natalya Fyodorovna Meklin née Kravtsova (1922-2005), a much decorated World War II combat pilot in one of the three women-only Soviet air regiments (nicknamed the ‘Night Witches’ by their German opponents). She joined the air force at age 19 and flew 980 night missions by the end of the war. After the war, she graduated from the Military Institute of Foreign Languages and worked as a translator until retiring. Among her many awards was the title Hero of the Soviet Union, the highest distinction in the Soviet Union, awarded personally or collectively for heroic feats in service to the Soviet state and society.

Natalya was also a huge fan of classical literature, particularly Tolstoy, and became a writer herself.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT. A GIANT CLOUD IN THE SHAPE OF SATAN’S GRINNING FACE, WITH DOLLAR SIGNS FOR EYEBALLS, BLOCKING OUT THE SUN.

KIM AND KANYE MUST BE EXPECTING A BABY.

swedishproblems:

tack till felix!

animalstalkinginallcaps:

LOOK AT ME. LOOK AT ME IN MY EYES. DO YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME? A SUMMER HOBBY? THIS IS DEADLY SERIOUS BUSINESS AND YOU’RE BEHAVING LIKE AN AMATEUR. A NOBODY. YOU MISSED HALF YOUR CUES ON A ROUTINE WE PRACTICED FOR WEEKS. DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE SWIMSUIT DISASTER.

The lights were too bright! I wasn’t prepared for the added pressure of audience scrutiny!

I DON’T HAVE THE WORDS TO EXPRESS MY DISAPPOINTMENT RIGHT NOW.

But I wasn’t-

SHHHHHHH. DON’T TALK. JUST SIT THERE IN YOUR SHAME.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

That’s right! Two plus two equals four! Can anyone tell me what three plus two equals? Yes? Mr. Chompers?

MURDER.

Um, no. Three plus two does not equal murder.

ARSON.

Uh, no. The answer is not arson. Let’s ask someone else.

THE TELEVISION SHOW WHITNEY.

You’re just naming off horrible things to upset the class and I’m about to send you to the principal’s office!

fuckyeahhistorycrushes:

I was doing a basic image search the other day for something to use as a cover for my paper on the M1 Garand Rifle.  Somehow I stumbled upon this.  Won’t say this is a crush, but I say that man as a nice butt.

For a slightly more detailed story on the mystery man with the wonderful tush : http://paulinespiratesandprivateers.blogspot.com/2012/03/booty-bravest-of-brave.html

… we got a call to pick up an airman who was down in the Bay. The Japanese were shooting at him from the island, and when they saw us they started shooting at us. The man who was shot down was temporarily blinded, so one of our crew stripped off his clothes and jumped in to bring him aboard. He couldn’t have swum very well wearing his boots and clothes. As soon as we could, we took off. We weren’t waiting around for anybody to put on formal clothes. We were being shot at and wanted to get the hellout of there. The naked man got back into his position at his gun in the blister of the plane. - Horace Bristol

Wow!

swedishproblems:

dreamingdeer

animalstalkinginallcaps:

BILL, I’M SORRY! COME BACK! I DIDN’T MEAN IT! I’M JUST VERY SARCASTIC BY NATURE!

I RESPECT YOUR VEGETARIAN LIFESTYLE AND ADMIRE YOUR SENSITIVITY!

BILL!

BILL I LOVE YOU! DON’T BE LIKE THIS!

animalstalkinginallcaps:

DO YOU SEE, RICHARDS? THANKS TO YOUR INTERFERENCE THE PORTAL GROWS LARGER. IF WE DO NOT REVERSE THE DAMAGE THIS ENTIRE FACILITY WILL SOON BE GROUND ZERO FOR THE DISSOLUTION OF REALITY AS WE HAVE KNOWN IT. WHAT HORRORS MAY EMERGE? WHAT CHAOS MAY YOU HAVE WROUGHT?

WE KNEW THIS TO BE A POSSIBILITY, DOCTOR MESSING. WHY DO YOU SHRINK FROM DISCOVERY? LET US VIEW THIS MOMENT AS AN OPPORTUNITY.

RELATAVISTIC TIME DILATION IS NOT A PLAYTHING, RICHARDS, FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT! 

SPEAKING OF, HAVE YOU SEEN MY LITTLE GREEN BALL WITH THE BELL INSIDE IT?

YES, IT’S UNDER THE COUCH AGAIN.

DAMN IT ALL TO HELL.